Abusing the News Disclaimer: Any items appearing in this section are meant to skewer the news reporting itself and not the events depicted. There is no intent to make light of or to lessen the gravity of anything being reported.
Now on to the News:
Bush bemoans having to reap what he's sown
-- Sept. 24, 2008
(Washington, D.C.)---"All this doo-doo was supposed to hit the fan after he left office," said one Republican strategist who has consulted frequently with the administration.
Experts agreed the market and money crisis is the direct result of a systematic failure to regulate the activities of bankers, lenders, insurers and other market professionals.
“This has the potential to move up there in the first tier," said a Republican strategist and former chief of staff to President Reagan. "9/11 is in there. Katrina is in there. The Iraq war. And the financial crisis that we're experiencing now."
White House insiders say the President is not happy about being blamed for the problems his administration has caused. He especially does not like shouldering the blame for the war in Iraq, a war, he claims, was shown from the very beginning to have been based on lies and fabricated intelligence.
Bush advisors report that the President is despondent over being blamed for soaring gas prices and soaring oil company profits.
As he has throughout his presidency, the President has no interest in the issue of affordable health care for all U.S. citizens. “When it comes up, his eyes glaze over.” Aids admitted this happened with the President on a lot of complicated issues.
Those advisors acknowledged that Bush had often expressed a desire to leave office before the bill came do for the over ten trillion dollar projected deficit.
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Congress to Suspend Legislative Duties
to instead Concentrate on the Important Work of Questioning Sports Figures and Pop Icons
-- Feb. 16, 2008
(Washington, D. La-La-Land) Sen. Arlen Specter will continue his investigation into the NFL's handling of Spygate. Judiciary Chairman Patrick Leahy is supporting Specter's inquiry with an open account of the taxpayers money.
Rep. Tom Davis defended the idea of steroid hearings, saying, "This is one of the few things in a partisan, polarized town that the Republicans and Democrats are on the same page. It isn't on the budget or Iraq. But you've got to start somewhere."
"We'd like to see Pedro Martinez about that cockfighting thing," said a House Oversight Committee member.
"We are in no way limiting ourselves to sports figures," said a congressional staffer. "In fact, with congressional hearings already planned to discuss breast implants, I know the congressmen will have a definite interest in seeing Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, and Christina Aguilera to name just a few."
On whether there is any interest in calling the internet gun dealer who supplied weapons and equipment to both the Virginia Tech shooter and the Northern Illinois copycat assailant, the halls of Congress are as silent as those at the closed down campus in DeKalb, Illinois.
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So impressed by the success of "the surge,"
More Than 1000 Iraqi Troops
feel compelled to pursue other opportunities
--April 4, 2008
(Baghdad)---More than 1,000 Iraqi soldiers and policemen abandoned their posts during the inconclusive assault against Shiite militias in Basra last week. Iraqi military officials said the group included dozens of officers, including at least two senior field commanders in the battle.
One of the senior field commanders put it this way, "The surge this and the surge that. We kept hearing about how the surge was all that. A career in the new Iraqi army looked about as bright as the U.S. economy after the subprime fiasco."
"How can we look to a future in the Iraqi armed forces when soon-to-be President McCain keeps talking about the U.S. occupying our country for 50 or 100 more years?" complained another out-of-work Iraqi field officer. "I'm not going to live that long."
When asked about future employment options, the former Iraqi servicemen said they would look for work in the only two career paths which appeared to be solid and secure in Iraq's future: The manufacture of IEDs for the insurgent industry and the funeral business, gravedigging, embalming, casket building, etc.
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Scandal over 200,000 small arms lost in Iraq
Blown out of Proportion
By Lenny Woodson
(Undisclosed location, nowhere near the Middle East)
November 11, 2007
Chaos, bent rules and black market sales at a Baghdad armory explain how the U.S. lost track of close to 200,000 small arms meant for Iraq's security forces.
However, evidence in the investigation clearly shows that many of those weapons did end up in the hands of Iraqi security forces. Those Iraqis made use of the weapons in several ways, both profitable and deadly. Many of these former security forces joined the insurgency or sold their weapons to the insurgents.
A G.A.O. official involved in the investigation, had taken statements from U.S. soldiers who had raided enemy weapons caches, who said, “We found AK-47s. Did we give these to them?”
Nearly a third of the security forces made extra cash selling their weapons back to the Allies.
“The Iraqi commanders could barely keep track of their troops, much less stocks of new weapons,” said Major Isgrigg, a U.S. officer responsible for equipping the security forces, even though the actual distribution of the weapons had been outsourced to a private contractor. Isgrigg estimated that 30 percent of the equipment he delivered went to Iraqi soldiers who showed up for duty one day, and disappeared the next.
“There were times we would issue a batch of weapons and within 10 days they would show up at the Enemy Weapons Purchase Program,” said another supply major, referring to a military effort to buy guns from the streets.
In July, American Logistics Services, which later became Lee Dynamics International, was suspended by the Army from doing future business with the government amid accusations that the company paid hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes to military contracting officers. The company had won $11 million in contracts to manage five warehouses with arms and other equipment in Iraq. It is reputed that the company restructured under another name and secured a government contract as Blatant Republican Inducement and Blackmail Enterprises (BRIBE).
An executive at the company defended his previous company by saying, “Although our arms business might look bad from a distance, it hardly raised an eyebrow in Baghdad.”
“You’re talking about a war zone,” he went on to explain. “In Iraq, weapons are everywhere.”
Employees of whatever the company was called then, have said the armory turned into a private arms bazaar with the seeming approval of some American officials and executives, selling AK-47 assault rifles, Glock pistols and heavy machine guns to anyone with cash in hand — Iraqi militias, South African security guards and even American contractors.
There is no evidence at this time linking the use of these weapons by American contractors like Blackwater or DynCorp International.
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Bush Administration Doesn't Hate Lawyers; Just Good Lawyers
compiled by
Lenny Woodson
March 6, 2007
Carol Lam, the former United States attorney for San Diego, was very good at her job. Her investigation of Representative Randy Cunningham resulted in a guilty plea for taking more than $2 million in bribes. Two weeks ago, she indicted Kyle Foggo, the former No. 3 official in the C.I.A. The defense-contracting scandal she pursued so vigorously could yet drag in other politicians.
In many Justice Departments, her record would have won her awards, and perhaps a promotion to a top post in Washington. In the Bush Justice Department, it got her fired.
Ms. Lam is one of at least seven United States attorneys fired recently under questionable circumstances. The Justice Department is claiming that Ms. Lam and other well-regarded prosecutors, who all received strong job evaluations, like John McKay of Seattle, David Iglesias of New Mexico, Daniel Bogden of Nevada and Paul Charlton of Arizona actually performed inadequately.
The firing of H. E. Cummins III, one of the most distinguished lawyers in Arkansas, respected by both Republicans and Democrats, is raising as many questions as Ms. Lam’s. He was forced out to make room for J. Timothy Griffin, a former Karl Rove deputy.
The Bush administration cleared the way for these personnel changes by slipping a little-noticed provision into the Patriot Act last year that allows the president to appoint interim U.S. attorneys for an indefinite period without Senate confirmation.
In related news, a senior Pentagon official in charge of military detainees suspected of terrorism said in an interview he was dismayed that lawyers at many of the nation's top firms were representing prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, and that the firms' corporate clients should consider ending their business ties.
The comments by Charles Stimson, deputy assistant secretary of defense for detainee affairs, produced an instant torrent of anger from lawyers, legal ethics specialists and bar association officials.
"This is prejudicial to the administration of justice," said Stephen Gillers, a law professor at New York University and an authority on legal ethics. "It's possible that lawyers willing to undertake what has been long viewed as an admirable chore will decline to do so for fear of antagonizing important clients.
Sen. Patrick Leahy, a Vermont Democrat who is chairman of the Judiciary Committee, wrote to President Bush on Friday asking him to disavow Stimson's remarks.
The Bush Administration chose not respond.
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U.S. Revealed as Foremost Supplier of Insurgent Weapons
Compiled by Lenny Woodson
February 8, 2007
(Baghdad and Washington, D.C.)---In the wake of recent evidence of serial numbers and markings on explosives and other weapons used by extremists in Iraq being traced back to Iran, Pentagon officials acknowledged that the majority of weapons and military equipment used by both Sunni and Shiite insurgents were provided by (drumroll, please) the United States.
The Bush Administration has been doing their best to de-emphasize this fact as it makes a case for using military force against Iran should the president decide to do so down the road.
When presented with
the fact that 99% of the attacks against U.S. troops have been conducted by
Sunni militias funded, not by Iran, but by wealthy American Sunnis and some of
our allies like Saudi Arabia, Flynt Leverett, the National Security Council’s
former senior director of Middle East affairs, acknowledged the discrepancy.
“Well, that‘s right; the Sunni insurgents have been inflicting many more
casualties on U.S. forces, and there's no evidence of any connection between
them and Iran."
An October 2006
audit found the United State military could not account for over 14,000 missing
weapons meant for Iraqi military and police forces. Military officials at
the time commented that they expected to see the missing arms "somewhere down
the road." The missing weapons were considered almost untrackable because
the Defense Department registered the serial numbers of only about 10,000 of the
370,251 weapons it provided -- less than 3 percent.
Reports have surfaced of weapon prices for
Iraqi army weapons soaring on the black market. This is in addition to the
thousands of weapons confiscated from Hussein's forces which disappeared after
the first wave of the United States invasion. Rising prices, in turn, have
encouraged an insidious form of Iraqi corruption — the migration of army and
police weapons from Iraqi state armories to black-market sales.
Three types of American-issued weapons are now readily visible in shops and
bazaars, the Glock and the Walther 9 mm pistols, and the Kalashnikovs from
post-Soviet Eastern European countries. These are the principal types of the
370,000 weapons purchased by the United States for Iraq's security forces.
The weapons are easy to find, resting among others in street markets, where
weapons are sold in tea houses, the back rooms of grocery kiosks, cosmetic
stores and rug shops or from the trunks of cars.
"In the south, if the Americans give the Iraqis weapons, the next day you can
buy them here," said one dealer, who sold groceries in the front of his kiosk
and offered weapons in the back. "The Iraqi army, the Iraqi police — they all
sell them right away."
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(New York)---A source close to the President confirmed today that the Bush Administration was proceeding with a not-so-secret plan to take its penchant for petty retribution and sophomoric arm-twisting to a worldwide stage.
Numerous news services in addition to several other more reliable sources have been reporting that the United States is working hard “behind the scenes” to prevent Venezuela from being named to a two-year term on the United Nations Security Council. For example, Washington has agreed to sell F-16 fighter jets to Chile, but are warning that Chilean pilots will not be trained to fly them if the government supports Venezuela's Security Council bid, the diplomats said. US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is telling Latin countries that it "could fall into a group of losers against US interests" should it support Venezuela's campaign.
This is apparent retaliation for Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez’s U.N. speech where he referred to President Bush as “El Diablo” and commented on the lingering smell of sulfur he left behind near the podium.
The source close to the Administration reiterated the President has a thin skin and a memory like an elephant.
There also indications Bush is unhappy with a potential leader in Ecuador. Ever since, Rafael “Dale” Correa, a Chavez ally, and candidate for President of Ecuador was quoted as saying: "Calling Bush the devil is offending the devil. The devil is evil, but intelligent. I believe Bush is a tremendously dimwitted president who has done great damage to his country and to the world," the United States has been working very hard to prevent Correa from becoming elected. The recent election ended without a decision when none of the candidates received a majority.
Reportedly, the Bush Administration is pressuring the country to recount votes so that Correa loses. The source close to Bush said the President bemoaned the fact that Ecuador did not have a Supreme Court who could place a leader into power.
So, are these petty retaliatory attacks working. A recent essay in a regional publication suggest otherwise. "Washington is galled that no government in Latin America has yet been willing to help it challenge Chavez. Even governments closely associated with Washington have sympathy for the Venezuelan leader's anti-Bush, anti-American polemics."
The Administration is unbowed in their attempt to bend wills and teach lessons to leaders around the world. Some North Korean thing is beginning to piss the President off, the source conceded. In the region and around the world, John Bolton has become known as Bush’s Bully and Condy Rice, the dragon lady or the Mata Hari.
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Scientists say Harry Potter-like invisibility cloak possible
“Sawing a Woman in Half” and “Pulling a rabbit out of a hat” still a long way off
May 26 (Online Journals) -- The creation of an invisibility cloak like the one used by Harry Potter in J.K. Rowling's books is theoretically possible, scientists said in two studies published by the online Science Express journal.
The key to making an object invisible is to surround it with a cloak made of "metamaterials'' that are engineered to bend light around an object, continuing on the other side in the same direction as before, Ulf Leonhardt, author of one of the studies, said in a telephone interview. “Now, if we could only find metamaterials, we’d be in business.”
“Light bends naturally in mirages,” he said, noting that nearly all the mirage machines are already situated in deserts around the world.
"All one has to do is enhance this bending effect and control it better,'' said Leonhardt, Professor of theoretical physics at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland.
The cloaking device posited by Duke scientists and the paper's third co-author, Professor John Pendry at Imperial College London, said, "Ours would be a broadband cloak. There would be no communication between the object that is cloaked and the outside world.''
"If you relax the requirement of perfection in the invisibility, we can have much more modest requirements of the material,'' he said. "If you're happy with a slight haze, or even things you can't really perceive with the naked eye, but you can with instruments,'' then it's easier to make, he said. “I’m wearing one now. See, I’m mostly invisible.”
"Is it science fiction?" said Pendry. "Well, it's theory and that already is not science fiction. It's theoretically possible to do all these Harry Potter things, but what's standing in the way is our engineering capabilities. Now, if we only had better capabilities, better nunchuk capabilities, better bow hunting capabilities, better computer hacking capabilities."
Although Pendry and Leonhardt scoff at their efforts, researchers at Cal Tech claim to be very close to writing internet articles detailing findings about sawing a woman in half, and there is also scuttlebutt circulating about a secret MIT study which purports to have raised an entire family of rabbits inside a man’s hat. However, leaked information seems to suggest the hat is so large only someone like Barry Bands could wear it.
A Country Within
Not Belarus! That Would Let US Off the Hook
By Lenny Woodson
March 23, 2006
(Somewhere, U.S.A)— The core of public dissent and what’s left of democratic freedom in the United States assumed its shape in the darkness, a small band of dissenters huddled across America in libraries, coffee shops, and on the internet. Protestors and dissidents across the country continued their nearly invisible opposition to the invalid election and onerous policies of George W. Bush.
At any moment, the demonstrators said, the police or FBI could rush in, harass or intimidate them, or drag them off to detention cells. They cite a classified FBI intelligence memorandum, which gave police detailed instructions on how to target, monitor and disrupt lawful political activity under the rubric of fighting terrorism.
Since the rigged presidential election of 2004, the United States has seen the voice of dissent struggle to be heard in the autocratic grip of the Bush administration. For years, dissenters and true patriots have defied warnings and governmental intimidation to demand a reversal of the bogus election result of 2004, or, at least, a new, impartial election.
It is a frigid, risky vigil, given the Bush government's history of reflexive brutality against those who dare to stand and call for better lives than Mr. Bush's island of conservative nostalgia and corruption has been able, or willing, to provide.
It is a country within a country. One that believes in applying its laws and rights to all citizens rather the wealthy minority venerated by Bush and his gang of tyrants.
The FBI's intimidation tactics seems to be for the purpose of discouraging or casting a shadow of doubt in the eyes of family, friends, and work colleges and employers.
"We live in a country of total fear, and very few people are brave enough to stand up and be heard,” said a disappointed, but unbowed dissenter.
The protesters see little chance of changes in the government anytime soon. To the extent that this is a revolution, dissenters often say, it is a revolution not on the streets but in the mind.
A student, Mr. Anyman, 18, said, "We are showing our country that we are not afraid to stand against arbitrary rule."
Another dissident, also a student, 21, said, "I am tired of the lies. I am no longer afraid."
But their efforts have been squelched so far by arrests, harassment, and intimidation and by television coverage portraying them as anti-American terrorists, anti-Christmas warriors, or homosexuals.
Ultimately, the dissenters say, a message exists here that cannot be missed by Mr. Bush and his security apparatus, "We refuse to be cattle!"
That sentiment was repeatedly expressed as concerned citizens made clear it was not merely the election they protested, but the entire form of government Mr. Bush has built.
They attacked the government's arbitrary detentions and its smothering of political and economic freedoms, including the freedoms of assembly and speech. And they condemned the inefficiency and corruption they said were at the center of the administration.
Many have had enough, they insist; America is not supposed to be like this.
"I am tired of the lies," said a grandmother of seven. "I am no longer afraid."
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Belarus Calls U.S. Presidential Election Invalid
By Lenny Woodson
MINSK,
Belarus, March 20 — Belarus declared the results of the 2004 presidential election in the U.S. invalid on Monday and called for a new vote, even though President Bush defiantly swept aside criticism and declared his intention to complete a second term.
President Bush defended his election in a news conference in Cleveland. In his distinctive disjointed drawl, Bush said the outcome of the election had "convincingly demonstrated who U.S. citizens wanted to lead them.”
Even though evidence continued to mount undermining the confidence in the results of 2004 voting in the states of Ohio, New Mexico, and Florida.
Bush said he was unafraid of further economic and political repercussions after an election that Belarus and international observers described as illegitimate, rigged and held under widespread repression.
"Belarus does not accept the results of the election," said Scosh MilClenovich, spokesman for President Lukashenko. "We support the call for a new election."
Echoing the Lukashenko administration, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, sharply criticized the election, noting harassment of opposition voters, propagandistic coverage by the media, and extensive irregularities in the counting of ballots.
Even as the European group issued its report, Mr. Bush was several blocks away addressing the elderly, gruffly and at times crudely sweeping aside any questions about his victory or his leadership style.
A spokesperson for the secretary general of NATO said in a statement that citizens of the United States had been cheated of a choice. "The people of the U.S. have the right to choose their leadership through a true democratic process," he said. "That right was again denied to them."
A spokesperson for Dick Cheney’s shotgun said, "The elections were testament to a high civic awareness and an interest amongst Americans for stability."
The statement made no mention of the mass corruption, wide-scale intimidation and fawning media coverage of Mr. Bush and his policies.
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(WASHINGTON) – The
White House and the Justice Department continued to defend the legality and
propriety of the federal governments secret wiretap program.
President Bush also continued to urge the
Senate to renew the Patriot Act. “Not that we really need it for this,” A White
House aid commented. “But it looks good and sounds good to the American
people.” Trent Duffy, a spokesman for the White
House, responded to a report in The New York Times claiming the security
agency had tapped into some of the country's main telephone arteries to conduct
broader data-mining operations, by saying: “This is not about monitoring phone calls
designed to arrange Little League practice or what to bring to a potluck dinner.
These are designed to monitor calls from very bad people to very bad people who
have a history of blowing up commuter trains, weddings and churches."
He added: "The president believes that he
has the authority - and he does - under the Constitution to do this limited
program. The Congress has been briefed. It is fully in line with the
Constitution and also protecting American civil liberties." Duffy refused to elaborate on what
constituted a “bad person” or a “very bad person,” but would also not rule out
any of the following:
Mothers of soldiers killed
in Iraq
business owners who use
Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas
homosexuals, either single
or married to each other
radical college professors
or university administrators
anyone living in San
Francisco
web bloggers
far left moonbats
songwriters, poets, and/or
any other comedy performer
anyone in the media who
doesn’t work for FOX When asked about the report that the
President had requested Bill O’Reilly’s self-proclaimed “Enemies List” for
inclusion in the secret wiretap program, a source close to the White House said
the President praised O’Reilly as one of the nation’s top journalists.
“He’s doing a heckuva job,” Bush is quoted
as saying. “I put him right up there with Jeff Gannon, Armstrong Williams, and
John Rendon.”
#####
WASHINGTON, D.C.---A
top Army contracting official with over 20 years experience in military
procurement, Bunnatine H. Greenhouse who criticized a large, noncompetitive
contract with the Halliburton Company for work in Iraq was demoted Saturday for
what the Army called poor job performance.
"She is being demoted because of her strict adherence to procurement
requirements and the Army's preference to sidestep them when it suits their
needs," said Ms. Greenhouse's lawyer, Michael Kohn, who called the action an
"obvious reprisal" for the strong objections she raised in 2003 to a series of
corps decisions involving the Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg Brown & Root, which
has garnered more than $10 billion for work in Iraq. Known as a stickler for the rules on competition, Greenhouse initially received
stellar performance ratings, but her reviews became negative at roughly the time
she began objecting to decisions she saw as improperly favoring Kellogg Brown &
Root. In late June, ignoring warnings from her superiors, she appeared before a
Congressional panel, calling the Kellogg Brown & Root oil contract "the most
blatant and improper contract abuse I have witnessed during the course of my
professional career." The inspector general’s office had commenced an independent investigation of Ms.
Greenhouse’s demotion but the Army Corps of Engineers decided not to wait for
the completion of that due process. Kohn said that when he telephoned Dan
Meyer, director of civilian reprisal investigations in the inspector general's
office, on Aug. 24, Mr. Meyer was "shocked" to learn that the corps had
proceeded against Ms. Greenhouse. When asked about the Army’s actions, President Bush seemed irritated and a
little snippy. “I’ve told you all before. I don’t believe in a Greenhouse
Effect. We have hard scientific evidence from sources like Halliburton and
Exxon Mobil that dispels this notion convincingly.” As
he hurried toward his helicopter, it sounded like the President said, “I can’t
believe how much I have to keep
catapulting the propaganda over and over and over again."
#####Chief Army Contract
Overseer Demoted After Criticizing Halliburton Pact
Bush tells Congress: Stay Home
Their services no longer needed
WASHINGTON---“We can take it from here,” the President wrote in a brief cordial letter of termination to each member of the House and Senate.
Characterizing the decision as a “no brainer,” Bush said he much preferred the ease and efficiency of the process without Congress.
After including Congress in the nomination process for several months, the President became impatient with the legislative process and appointed John Bolton without Congressional approval.
Democrats complained the White House had refused to turn over classified information on Bolton's tenure as arms control chief. They also claimed he lacked the diplomatic touch to advance U.S. interests at the world body and repair the American image abroad.
Bolton has long been a vocal critic of the United Nations in the past and has made comments dismissing the world body's value on the global stage.
Democrats also said that documents the State Department refused to release even after Congress requested them would show that Bolton conducted witch hunts for his enemies in government and others who disagreed with him.
"Nonsense,” Bush responded. “We don’t do that sort of thing in this administration. You can ask Dick or Scooter or Turd Blossom.”
However, State Department spokesman Noel Clay did admit that Bolton had been interviewed by the inspector general as part of a joint investigation with the Central Intelligence Agency related to Iraqi attempts to buy nuclear materials from Niger, even though Bolton swore under oath to the contrary to a grand jury in the Joe Wilson-Valerie Plame investigation.
"Michael Bolton is not a liar,” Bush said. “He’s a trusted member of my – what? Of course, I mean John Bolton. That’s what I said. John Bolton.”
“Hey, that was easy,” Bush commented on his new nomination procedure. Then on Tuesday again bypassed the Senate and appointed Peter Cyril Wyche Flory to be assistant secretary of defense for international security policy. The "recess appointment" puts Flory in the key Defense Department post until January 2007, when the next Congress takes office.
“It works a lot better,” Bush explained about his decision to fire Congress. “It saved a lot of unnecessary time and wasted energy. I can’t see why it won’t work for everything else I want to get done.”
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